Knowledge is Painful

In first year first semester, I innocently raised my hand in class and asked Dr. Ruhweza a simple question, “Are we taught the law de facto or de jure?” After a micro second of thought he answered, his response was detailed but in short, he said, a bit of both. 
Each passing day, I feel the realism in his answer slowly fading away. In light of recent events in the nation, in light of what we see transpire in our state each day, I feel like we’re not ready to face the realities of the law of the land.
Nothing has prepared us for Uganda as is, nothing that we’ve studied has prepared us for the fact that bail is granted at the wishes of the tormentors, nothing has prepared us for the fact that habeas corpus is a good old tale from the ’80z, nothing that have we studied has prepared us for the fact that the entire bill of rights in our constitution is just mere words surrounded by other words whose veracity isn’t of any more value than a Jane and Peter story book, nothing that we have studied has prepared is for the fabulous joke that is separation of powers or in light of recent events that the speaker of parliament can willingly accept special forces to usurp the powers of the speaker and fornicate on law making ground, nothing has prepared us for the tyrannical abuse of power and defeat of the spirit of the constitution that we see taking place today, nothing has prepared us for the weight of lawlessness and greed that we see today, nothing that we have studied has prepared us for the fact that torture is a public secret in the nation, that volumes and volumes of Human Rights reports are filed every year that shall never be acted upon despite the volumes getting bigger with each passing year, that the law is simply one man’s wishes being twisted to fit any situation as he may whims and desires. 
So I hate myself for believing Dr. Ruhweza’s answer, I hate myself for attending all those constitutional law lectures, I hate myself for knowing how things should be, I hate myself for understanding the rights availed to individuals in the country, I hate myself for knowing the bill of rights, I hate myself for thinking the law of the land was of any value, I hate myself for choosing law, perhaps a Business Administration course would be more relevant to the status quo, I hate that I’m going to be a lawyer born into this system or as better out by my learning friend, I hate that I’m going to be a lawyer practicing in a broken state, with broken systems, fighting to represent my clients before a failed and corrupted system. 

Ignorance surely is bliss, I wish I could unlearn the ideals I’ve studied, understand that the law is a mere toy of the big man and appreciate the hopelessness of our situation, maybe then I’d have peace, maybe if I didn’t know, maybe if I was tending to crops in the village waking up at cockcrow to tend to crops deep in my village, maybe then all this would not hurt, because I can guarantee you, knowing and seeing how things are done is a different kind of pain. 
                                                 ~J.K~

My View On 102(b)

Article 102 (2) should not be touched for any reason whatsoever. At the removal of term limits, I was only a young boy with barely any legal knowledge at the moment, but now that I’m of age, the odious realisation settles in that this was one of if not the worst mistake made by the Parliament at the time, and removing the age limit is if anything, shall be the straw that breaks the camel’s back that is our dear country. I analyse this problems thus; IT DOES NOT END WITH MUSEVENI but perhaps more saddening is the fact that many of our leaders are failing to appreciate that fact. When Honorable Abiriga states on National TV that the party wants Museveni, he and very many other people fail to realize that wanton abuse of the constitution is not going to be to only Museveni’s benefit! This sort myopic thinking is what bedevils our country! The constitution is not a story book, it’s not a love letter that can be changed based on the whims and emotions of whoever holds the parliament. So, much as it can be amended as the MPs see fit, let it linger in our minds that Museveni is not immortal, and neither is any of us. Could we consider what shall happen when another leader comes into power and he’s not as “good” as Museveni? What happens if we get another Idi Amin? Or another Obote on whom opinions vary, what shall stop another person to rule Uganda till his death bed? The constitution does not expire with Museveni, so whereas MPs seek to keep the man in power, they forget that tomorrow, another person shall be in the office (inevitably) and we can not always say that everyone shall be the desired leader! Autocrats shall come and we shall have no way of getting rid of them!! Every president of Uganda after the amendment of the constitution shall have the capability to be president for life! It’s an inevitable curse the 10th Parliament risk placing on this, our beautiful nation. To assume that this amendment only goes as far as Museveni is to think to the length of our noses and that is quite tragic!
In my view the need for democracy goes beyond giving people power, it provides a platform to bring in new ideas. I’ll give the example of The United States, Obama was a good president, matter of fact, he was a phenomenal president but some Americans still had an issue with some of his policies for example, Obamacare which would deny up to 10 million Americans healthcare, in comes Trump not exactly doing away with Obamacare, but promising to improve it and this was one of the strong points on which he ran! Democracy offers us a chance to improve, to add a brick onto what is in place! The same way Americans had to first experience Obamacare to know that it can be improved upon, made better, new leadership offers a chance not only to introduce new ideas but also improve on what might be in place, it’s the ultimate check and balance for any leader. As Human Beings it’s only natural that we aspire to attain better than we have, how then can we aspire to have better if, we have one option a permanent one at that. All persons should understand that any amendment to the constitution has far reaching consequences. The question should be whether we are ready to undress the guard that guards us to the loins, otherwise _qui custodiet ipsos custodes?_ (Who will guard the guard?)
Edited By Kasibante David 

BANTER ON MY FRIENDS. LOL :))

AT ALEX’S WEDDING

The year was 2030 and all the people we’d studied with back in high school were now grown men, most were married or on that path. But today was still a surprise by all means, Alex was finally getting married! What a shocker that was! At only 37, he’d finally chosen who to settle down with and spend the rest of his life with it was a fairytale of sorts to be honest. The bride, well that was probably the most shocking part about the wedding to begin with that almost everyone that knew Alex was in attendance just to be sure, people kept wondering HOW because honestly how. No one saw it coming, HOW oh Lord how had Alex finally beaten the deepest darkest Valleys of the friend zone that he was today getting married to Erica. Nobody knew for sure, but we were just happy for the couple! But at this momentous wedding, how had the guests sat?

The first table had, Trevor He had chosen a seat far away from the centre of the wedding guests. He thought b=he had taken cover but he had only himself to fool. He was the biggest person at the wedding. 10 years ago one would have easily mistaken him for Kesi. Years of sups and Budonian grab had taken their toll on him but apparently he was now keen on joining the gym (for the 100^th time now) to beat the extra weight. His date was something from the movies, a beauty pretty youngin probably from MUBs. But this wasn’t much of a surprise it was Trevor. He had dropped the law and started his life as one of the most celebrated socialites in Uganda, nobody knew his source of income but those close to him usually referred to him as the plug. He was seated next to Keith. Keith though was up and down as he always was, he was the chairman of the organizing committee and he was thus entrusted with ensuring everything on the day was going according to plan. He was old though. Very old and frail he looked like he was in his late 50z but were we not in high school just 15 years ago? It didn’t add up! The rumors of Keith being on mature student entry slowly started making sense to us. He was proud as ever knowing too much and too little at the same time, his wife Louise Businge (Now Louise Busingye Kayanja) was seated looking humble as ever while her now middle aged husband pulled the strings for the wedding. He was a doctor yes, but a very obnoxious one, he could simply look at what you’re eating and give you a list of the contents of your stool, how much it will weigh and it’s potential pH. He had started a rumor that it was indeed him that had discovered the cure for HIV and the idea had been stolen by a one Doctor Halongo Denis from him pencil bag (yes, he still had a pencil bag) but well that was the Keith we were all accustomed to. Their table was rounded off by Alfred who sat closest to the alcohol just in case he felt like some. He was talking the most probably to show off his American-esque accent, years in Oklahoma had finally caught up with him. He still kept tabs on everyone’s ex-girlfriends and knew their previous, current and probably next perhaps which explains why he was the only one on the table that didn’t have a date, it was hard keeping up with everyone’s ex. He was also well versed with all the latest transfer news and knew what was going to transpire before it even did, there was a looming rumor that Wayne Rooney was set to become the new Manchester United manager but only Alfred had the concrete facts not after all the hours of the day he spent on score.com.

The Table Closest to them was another Marvel, I mean anything that had Ivor had to have a level of finesse to it. He was seated next to his 2 dates (yes, Ivor was allowed 2 dates, IT’S IVOR). He had so many tattoos all over his body, and probably the only part of his body that had survived was his face which he always protected, his money maker. He spoke in famous quotes and unrelated sayings, he’d an adlib which he always used “Ayo Mate is it poppin”, Remember how slow he walked I high school? Well now he walked about 10 times slower, at around the same speed as a goat with 2 legs. He’d attended a Yeezy season premiering once and now talked about Kanye West like they were good ol’ friends from way back and Kim Kardashian like they were best friends, but that was the Ivor we were accustomed to. He was so animated it was as though his Instagram had come to life to haunt us, more like a Walmart version of Snoop Dogg. He always had his photography expert Baruga close at hand to take all his photos, which was Ironic considering Ivor had ventured into photography and Baruga was an architect having graduated in 2021 from Arch school which he had joined in 2015 (it’s a 3 year coarse btw) but no surprise they were on the same table. Baruga still told tales of his glory days and how he was the first Smackist to join Whatsapp, he still talked about Prom like it was his greatest achievement but when the topic was changed to Sosh he would immediately seek to change topic, rather unsurprisingly. Who else to complete off this table than Kyax himself, but where was he? He wasn’t even present yet, he was late! Even after 5 years in UK, his time keeping had not improved one bit. Word had gone around that he had had a secret marriage with his sosh date, but those were unfounded rumours as everyone knew his mother was to choose for him a suitable marriage partner when he made 40. But we all knew that was not his date for the night, his date was definitely going to be Semaganda, people were still not sure whether he was his doctor or bodyguard. He could easily have been mistaken for either. Kyax had started a secret recording company and for 3 years now he had ventured into Music production he was always making beats whether with a computer or with a fork and spoon at the dinner table, he still hoped to record the track “Deejay Number One” and get his big break, the song was being elusive and had refused to catch on. Despite prevailing rumours when asked he always talked about his girlfriend, she had got 15 in 8 in her O’Level examinations and he was so excited for her she could finally join Gayaza and have a chance to finally grow her hair beyond the mandatory 2 centimeters Namagunga allowed. What was a 35 year old man doing with a 15 year old girl? Nobody knows, but well he continued to claim age was just a number.

But maybe there was someone that knew, Toyota, yes with age he had dropped the Krugger name because it lacked spontaneity so he was now just known by the Toyota name. What was Krugger into though, what was Krugger doing? Nobody knew, he knew everything about everyone but nobody knew anything about him. That was Krugger for you (a Varys of sorts) he had vowed to join the Ugandan wing of Men In Black, but no one was sure how that had turned out and quite frankly were scared to ask. Matthew Muheesi who was his closest companion on the table had followed daddy dreams picked up the gun was now a full brigadier General of the UPDF, picturing him a solider was always difficult and if one didn’t know him personally it was hard to imagine. He was still working on a mean face to try and suit his army general status but it was not easy to come by. He tried so hard to smile and keep a simple face for the day but everyone knew that had wishers been horses he probably would have been the groom of the day, sadly though Alex had shot his shot and here we were! It is no surprise these two security gurus had sat next to each other the rest of the table was occupied by their bodyguards and security detail. Oh! Did I mention Krugger had a date? Who was it? Was she FBI, CIA, ISIS? Why was she wearing shades indoors? Was she still studying? How had they even met? Guess what, NOBODY KNOWS!

Could the wedding be complete without the Arsenal table it still had its Reserved table mark, where were Charles, Coleman, Bugingo and Luwaga? Could have sworn they were here a minute ago, its only then that it hit me! They were in the Lobby watching the Arsenal game, Arsenal had come up against Brighton FC in the championship play offs. It was probably the biggest day in the clubs history, the day they finally get promoted back to the premier league, club manager Arsene Wenger, now a 90 year old man in a wheelchair had come under heavy pressure by the media for his continued refusal to sign a world class striker as he chose to stick with Theo Walcott who was celebrating his 44^th birthday this weekend, arsenal fans were still waiting for him to peak and having scored 6 goals in the previous season, they were convinced this was finally the season when he turned out a world class striker. The only person that sat on the table was Oscar Gunya or as he had come to be called Brother Oscar, at 24 he had joined the brothers of Christian instructions and was now on the verge of being appointed Brother Vicar of the Kisubi parish, he spoke very slowly and laughed at his colleagues that were still ardent Arsenal fans, the Wenger pressure had gotten to him and he quit(soccer and all soccer related activities) he was now a staunch fan of  Major League baseball, supporting the new York Yankees and when not following the MLB you could find him at Nabinoonya Beach in Kisubi fishing or on a lucky Saturday Fluking the Mugwanya MDD bull roasting.

The wedding was such a spectacle as everyone was so smartly dressed but Shema was still trying to steal the spotlight after many years of watching and being inspired by Paul Pogba he had gotten himself a Hair Cut, green and white just as a mark of allegiance to his current club Celtic United reserves, he had played a single senior team match but kept talking about him repeatedly telling anyone who cared to listen that he was a Celtic player and how his son Sheymar Junior Hairebarimana was going to be the biggest thing in Ugandan football, the “Ugandan Messi” a dream his father had failed to achieve and had now passed on to his son. His loyal and loving girlfriend Shacy sat next to him, they had persevered through all the trials, distance and Kikoni ratchets and where set to get married later that year at the MGM Grand Arena in Las Vegas (we all know who was paying) but today they had still managed to rob all the attention for themselves with their matching sweaters that had shacy de modo written at the back. The couple was seated next to Schwarzenegger, well at least he looked like Schwarzenegger, Serubiri Mark the current holder of Mr. World title for 4 years running and was willing to strip off his shirt and show off his biceps to anyone willing to touch and praise him, some said he was on Steroid and had to sacrifice some inches to attain him dream body, but those of us who knew him knew that the hours spent in Africana gym were the reason the man now looked like he had 3 arms in one also apparently amara was interested in buff guys so he continually sent her selfies of himself shirtless hoping maybe finally, he and her would get something on. Everyone on this table was big and well-built that Shema looked terribly out of place, the last and biggest chair on the table had been saved for Ojambo, he just looked the father of the three, remember the stories of sugar daddies you would read about in novels and how they would drive around campus looking for girls, ell that’s exactly how Ojambo looked at 35 like a sugar daddy, the kind that was bank rolling for these Instagram girls to live their fancy lives and go to expensive places, well guess these were perks of being in government, he dove the fanciest cars and was the real big poppa, but the ministry he was attached to was always losing billions mysteriously nobody knew how (maybe Krugger).

The wedding was a sheer delight the groom was ecstatic he was finally going to ‘settle down” he had won his battle and now stared at the bride like she were a lamb about to be sacrificed at an altar. His right arm was visibly bigger than his left arm, probably from years of applying Fleming’s right hand rule too literally. Well what can I say about the bride, she looked stunning (insert other inappropriate descriptions that bring out all her sensuous features) all I can say as regards the bride is there were 2 cakes at the wedding (wink) (wink) but we drunk and ate the night away into the wee hours of the morning, the Arsenal match finally ended, they had lost, could this be the end of Wenger, but this was a script we were all too familiar with. The night was a sheer splendor and the after party which was at club Play (yes, in the future we can afford to go to club Play, and yes, even Shema) lived up to the billing married men still looking for rubs from freshers (typical Smackists) and everything that came with the night, Trevor made sure the lads were well supplied with “the goods” and we partied the night away. Where was I in all my vision, well I was walking around with Coleman caining BC and compiling this piece for our respective blog posts.

 

 

PS ; Your inclusion or exclusion from this article does not guarantee that you’ll attend Alex’s wedding, I mean, it doesn’t even guarantee Alex a wedding at all, especially not to said bride.

PPS ; Couldn’t include everyone, run out of ink. Lol!

MY FIRST BLOG.

WHAT NEXT IN THE FIGHT AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY IN UGANDA?

Since time immemorial, the fight against homosexuality in Uganda has been ongoing, in schools, religious institutions, homes and cultural settings in Uganda. The general, attitude and view towards same sex relationships in Uganda is one of hostility and coldness in short, Ugandans do not condone of same sex relationships and thus the general celebration and aura of triumph that engulfed the entire nation when Honorable David Bahati tabled the anti-homosexuality bill before the parliament is what we could regard as the Ugandan response. People were ecstatic, elated, this was the bill the nation had been waiting for, the bill to save the delicate moral fabric of the nation. Ugandans joy was elevated with the news that the president had consented to this bill and appended his signature in approval.

This joy and euphoria was however short lived as the constitutional court in 2014 came out to pronounce itself on the bill which had been passed despite a procedural failure in Constitutional Petition Number 8 of 2014 led by Professor Oloka Onyango and 9 others. The entire country watched on as the constitutional court  threw out the said bill from the legal system of the country. As expected, the reaction was that of disappointment and slander of the judges for throwing out a law that looked to solve deep issues that touched Uganda’s moral fabric to the core. As usual allegations of unfair and bias were thrown towards the judges with the expected allegations of bribery for what every legal mind in the country would agree was a well decided case.

2 years later, the same bill has not been tabled again, despite multitudes of general public support and rightly so. The law makers perhaps did realise. Whereas passing a law against same sex relations in Uganda is easy, having the same law kicked out by the courts as unconstitutional despite the fact that in the a fore mentioned case it was on grounds of a procedural failure. The law in place, section 145 which prohibits sex against the order of nature is for all intents and purposes redundant law. It has not in fact been used to pass any concrete judgement as regards same  sex relations in Uganda in essence, same sex partners continue to live amongst the everyday Ugandan.

So, what is the way forward if Ugandan so wishes to have homosexuality outlawed. The clear path is one, the law makers. But the law maker’s drafted law is subject to approval by the court as the persons living in same sex relationships in Uganda shall not take this sitting down, the law shall be challenged in the constitutional court and should any party not be pleased with the findings, eventually the Supreme Court shall be required to pass law on the issue. The court and only with the court’s approval can the law barring anti-homosexual relations be law.

Now as to what the Supreme Court shall decide can only be speculative, it is a decision that can only be passed by members of the honorary bench. Personally I doubt it shall be a unanimous decision as cultural and religious inclinations will make it difficult for the pro homosexual counsels. However, it could go either way as the anti same sex relations counsels shall have to prove that their law is not in fact a plot to marginalize a given section of   members of society: no easy fete. But well all this is only speculative as the final word does indeed lay with the ladies and gentlemen of the Bench. Yes a tall order but not one the ladies and gentlemen of the bench cannot surmount.